Women are born to be dramatic =P

Every morning, before I go to work.While i wait for the engine to warming up, i will read some pages from a book. 

And now the book that i currently read is " Men from Mars and Women from Venus".

Huu...bought this book almost a year ago but i just read less than quarter of it....
So, my mission before end of this year i want to finish reading the unread book that i bought!

I wonder if people may think that i read comic or jokes magazine. 
Haha, because sometime what the author wrote in the book really make me smile myself or even laugh =P

For example

What women usually say	What man will hear	What actually she want to say
"We never go out."	You are not doing your job. What a disappointment you have turned out to be. We never do anything together anymore because you are lazy, unromantic and just boring.	I feel like going out and doing something together. We always have such a fun time, and I love being with you. What do you think? Would you take me out to dinner? It has been a few days since we went out.
"Everyone ignores me."	I am so unhappy. I just can't get the attention I need. Everything is completely hopeless. Even you don't notice me, and you are the person who is supposed to love me. You should be ashamed. You are so unloving. I would never ignore you this way.	Today, I am feeling ignored and unacknowledged. I feel as though nobody see me. Of course I'm sure some people see me, but they don't seem to care about me. I suppose I am also disappointed that you have been so busy lately. I really do appreciate how hard you are working and sometimes I start to feel like I am not important to you. I am afraid your work is more important than me. Would you give me a hug and tell me how special I am to you?
" This house is always a mess"	This house is a mess because of you. I do everything possible to clean it up, and before I have finished, you have messed it up again. You are lazy slob and I don't want to live with you unless you change. Clean up or clear out!	Today I feel like relaxing, but the house is so messy. I am frustrated and need a rest. I hope you don't expect to clean it all up. Would you agree with me that it is a mess and then offer to help clean up part of it?
" I am so tired, I can't do anything"	I do everything and you do nothing. You should do more. I can't do it all. I feel so hopeless. I want a 'real man' to live with. Picking you was a big mistake.	I have been doing so much today. I really need a rest before I can do anything more. I am so lucky to have your support. Would you give me a hug and reassure me that I am doing a good job and that I deserve a rest?
"You don't love me anymore"	I have given you the best years of my life, and you have given me nothing. You used me. You are selfish and cold. You do what you want to do, for you and only you. You do not care about anybody. I was fool. Now I have nothing.	Today I am feeling as though you don't love me. I am afraid I have pushed you away. I know you really do love me, you do so much for me. Today I am just feeling a little insecure. Would you reassure me of your love and tell me those three magic words, I love you. When you do that it feels so good.

Heee.. Amazing right!... Yeah, we have different coding and use different software that interpret what we hear. Dramatic is just the way women express feeling more fully (John Gray, 1992)... Let's celebrate the difference.=)

Stairway of PhD mountain~Episode 1 : Right Intention

Assalamualaikum.

I read this story in solusi magazine a day after my convocation. And the second story touched. nope make me heart felt jerked. 

Abu Hurairah mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang bermaksud :

"Mula-mula manusia akan diadili pada hari kiamat ialah seseorang yang gugur dalam peperangan. Dia didatangkan, lalu Allah memperlihatkan nikmat yang telah Allah berikan kepadanya semasa didunia sehingga dia melihatnya. Allah bertanya : 'Apakah yang telah engkau buat ke atas nikmat-nikmat tersebut?' Dia menjawab : 'Aku berperang dijalan-Mu sehingga aku gugur syahid.'
Allah berfirman ' Kamu berdusta, sebaliknya kamu berperang supaya kamu digelar seorang yang berani dan gelaran itu telah diberikan.'Kemudian diperintahkan supaya wajahnya diseret dan dilemparkan ke dalam neraka."

"Lalu seseorang yang belajar ilmu dan mengajarkannya serta membaca al-Quran didatangkan, lalu Allah memperlihatkan nikmat-Nya yang telah diberikan padanya sehingga dia ditanya: 'Apakah yang telah kamu buat atas nikmat-nikmat tersebut?' Dia menjawab :'Aku belajar ilmu serta mengajarkannya dan aku membaca al-Quran kerana-Mu." 
Allah berfirman ' Kamu berdusta, sebaliknya kamu belajar ilmu supaya kamu disebut sebagai seorang yang alim dan kamu membaca al-Quran supaya disebut sebagai qari. Dan gelaran itu telah diberikan.' Kemudian diperintahkan supaya wajahnya diseret dan dilemparkan ke dalam neraka."

"Kemudian orang yang Allah luaskan dan kurniakan kepadanya berbagai-bagai jenis harta seluruhnya, dia didatangkan kepada Allah lalu diperlihatkan nikmat-Nya yang telah diberikan padanya sehingga dia ditanya: 'Apakah yang telah kamu buat atas nikmat-nikmat tersebut?'Dia menjawab:'Aku tidak meninggalkan satu jalan yang Engkau sukai supaya bersedekah kerana-Mu.'
Allah berfirman ' Kamu berdusta, tetapi kamu melakukannya supaya disebut sebagai dermawan, dan gelaran tersebut telah diberikan.' Kemudian diperintahkan supaya wajahnya diseret dan dilemparkan ke dalam neraka."

Hadis Qudsi (Riwayat Muslim dan al-Nasa'i)
Sumber : Majalah Solusi Isu No. 48 mukasurat 1


Oh!...The second story really make my heart feel like being choked.

I already get the master certificate.
Do I have enough knowledge that commensurate with that certificate?

Am I doing master because of the certificate or because of the knowledge?
Hmm...

I will pursue my phd.
InsyaAllah.

In searching of the field that i want to further study, i feel soo tiny...Allah's knowledge are sooo huge.
Even i search in the field that related to biomedical, it still just 0.01% i understand about others research.
That not include the prior science, economy, and etc.

Therefore, my intention to step into the 'higher level garden'; PhD level is to gain the knowledge, because when we study more about science and nature, we will more appreciate the creator. Lillahitaala.InsyaAllah. May Allah make all thing easier, Open my heart to understand His knowledge , therefore I can apply the knowledge and share it.Amin

Ya Raqiib

October already passed...
But i still want to story some stories related to October..

May be we can called it tragedy october..
Or may be sweet october...

It about 'lost'
Or actually misplaced

1st story : 2 oct 2012- before the I.N.A.T.E.X 2012

As a manager of the project that we participated in the exhibition,
I responsible to print the poster, photostat the flyers and etc.
8-11 am - I have pre-lab at control lab, FKE.
11.00 am - Go to melana to take something.
11.15 am - Go to Iprint to take the  posters that already printed.
2.30 pm - Before, we go to DSI to setup the booth, we go to buy double tap and i use the single money   from the handbag.
4.00 pm - After setup the booth at DSI, i want photostat the flyer..that time i just realized - MY WALLET NOT THERE!..Not in the handbag. Try to be positive " May be in the lab, i forgot to bring it"
4.30 pm - Arrived at lab, i quickly search the wallet if it on my desk or elsewhere in lab. But, IT'S NOT THERE! Oh my god!..I just thinking that there is dr.rafiq's money for inatex was there... and now, where is the wallet..
Try thinking, where i may be left it... Iprint? because last time i used the wallet was at Iprint..
I plan to go to iprint if someone found it and save it for me..
Before that i search it at the parking and inside the car (from the driver seat's view)
Unfortunately, still not found it
At the same time, my mouth never stop saying ya raqiib.... ya raqiib... ya raqiib...
5.30 pm - Ask the person at the Iprint counter " Do you see the grey wallet, may be misplaced here?"
" Ha? wallet? Hmm, no la"
Oh that answer really make me dissapointed.
However, i still not stopping zikir ya raqiib...and at the same time after i go out from Iprint
i make a dua and tawasul to Allah " Ya Allah, if you return my wallet, i will donate rm 10 from the wallet to masjid.. please accept my dua ya Allah"
Walk to the car, and get the instinct to open co-pilot door and search the wallet from there..
Allahuakbar!... It's there... embedded under the co-pilot seat... Subhanallah... All praise to Allah,
I'm so relief and start the engine drive to the mosque to solat syukur and donate my money. Alhamdulillah ya Allah.

2nd story : 14 Oct 2012 After my master's convocation
After my convocation, my family and i drive to malacca because we want to celebrate my sister's convocation the day after.
At the night, my sister ask " Kaklong, nak tengok gambar, nak compare nanti konvo utm ke upm yang best"... haha..sengal!...I search the camera in my handbag. Not there.Then i replied her " Hmm, xde kat sini lar, tertinggal kat dalam kete kot...tengok gambar dalam ipad abah lar"
I go to the car, to take all the paperbag. But, camera not there and it already night it limited light to search it..
6.00 am 14 oct - My parent and angah already ready to depart to upm and there i right after woke up, i go to the bluvy as may dad already started the engine... Try to find the camera at the bonnet. Dad " Ade x?"..
Me " Xder pon..mane ni" Mom " kawan kaklong yang amekkan gambar semalam lupe nak pas kan balik kot" hmmmm.... don't have idea..
After i praying subuh, take the instant roti canai for breakfast, wash the laundry.. My lips zikir ya raqiib... insyaallah Allah give me sign where is the camera.
After completed wash the laundry, i prepared to hang the laundry at the garage...
While i hanging he laundry, i still thinking about my lovely camera, oh where are you my dear..
Then, suddenly i kick something...and IT'S MY CAMERA!..   Allahuakbar!..Subhanallah.. Ya Allah, home come it here?  Hmm, may be it fall down when my brothers go out from the car... Alhamdulillah ya Allah.. huh, luckily, it not hit by the car when my dad reverse the car that morning...

3rd story : 28 Oct 2012 . During Aidiladha after we do 'korban'
Alhamdulillah my relatives (dad's side) make korban this year at our village , serom, muar.
Alhamdulillah my family have enough rezki to take two part out of the seven for our korban.
I shared with my sister but use my name, and abah shared with mak and used abah's name for this korban.
InsyaAllah, next year we will share again and use mak and angah name.
Oh, it's kinda excited experience for me because- alhamdulillah at age of 26 years old able to make the korban. and -it's long time we not doing korban at our village.

7.30 am : They ready to bowled the black cow and i bring my tab to snap the moment.
8.00 am : My cousin take take the picture at the moment using dslr was asked to grab the cow's leg before it going to be slaughtered. And i don't want to miss the opportunity to take the picture using my dream camera-dslr  offer to use his camera.hehe.. and he accept..So, i pass my tab to my sister.
10.00 am : Finished capturing picture of the slaughter and flaying cow, i pass it back to my cousin and go to the kitchen to help girl's thing - cut the meat, onion, vegetable and etc.
11.45 am : All the process of cooking nearly finished i go to our room to take some rest.
" angah, mane TAB kaklong" " tadi letak kat tv tu"..
Go out from room and rush go to the tv, but it not there... oh my god..
Searching at the cushion, table, upstair... but it was not there.
Ya Allah...
My cousin " Ade simkad x dlm tab tu" " Ade simkad broadband jer...dah try kol, x bley"
Me " Hmm, cube kol no. viber"..
He called my viber number and my dad, my uncles and me search the tab.
My uncle " Ade kat dalam kereta x?"
Although i know it's not there i still go to the car and try to find the tab there.
12.15 noon : The tahlil started. We recite the tahlil doa.. but at the same time my heart never end zikir ya raqiib and pray that Allah give us sign where is the tab and if somebody picked it up, he/she will return it.
12.45 noon : Abah glanced at me and from his mouth i see he asked " da jumper?" ( because we sit far each other) and i replied with " belum".
And as he is the leader of the tahlil, before he end the tahlil he give accouncement, if somebody found my tablet or inadvertently  take  it, please return it back.
In the same time i'm pray oo Allah, i do this korban because of you, please return my tablet..
During eat, my aunt ask me if i already found it and i said no. She replied with " Hmm, Mak*** rase dah jauh tu...ade la tu yang ambik tu" Oh...that statement is sooo frustration me!... No, it still here!... InsyaAllah Allah will show us the sign where it is! I'm really hope i found it back!
1.00 pm : While i wash the dishes my cousin k.cha " Ala, xyah sedih2, kite doakan nanti dapat tab yang lagi canggih" " Ala xnak...doakan kite dapat tab tu balik jer...
15 minutes later ;  i still at the sink because the dishes to be wash is a lot.
k.cha " da jumper da, kat bilik atas" "ha, yeke" smiling..Alhamdulillah " hee, baru nampak senyum" "tadi carik kat bilik atas x jumper pon, xper la... alhamdulillah"

Ok.The conclusion is just ask to Allah, because He is the Almighty.
I bought Mukjizat Zikir-Zikir Asmaul Husna early of this year, and i found it is good. But, don't just zikir because you want something, zikir to get His bless. InsyaAllah.

There is 99 name of Allah, and the 44th is Ar-Raqib (الرقيب), the meaning is The Watchful One.
This is one of the ikhtiar if we lost something we can zikir Ya Raqiib as much as you can, InsyaAllah, He will open the hijab and we can find the lost thing.

p/s : still remember the reddish sony ericssion phone that i lost 2 year ago after Igcesh                         (4/11/10). Well, i know the hikmah of the lost. I can delete all the bad memories.

p/s : oh my grammar! oh my vocab!... i know there is many english errors here and there...but i want to publish it first after write too long...after this insyaallah i'll check again...huuuuu

Keliru sang hamba

Syair Ilia Abu Mahdi - al-Thalasim

Alam ini apa? Manusia ini apa? Dari mana aku datang? 
Hidup ini apa? Kematian itu apa?
Bagaimana keadaan datang? Adakah lagi 'hidup' selepas hidup ini?

Aku datang, aku tidak tahu dari mana..
...tapi aku datang jua
Aku menempuh jalan terbentang didepanku
...lalu aku berjalan 

Akan selamanyakah aku berjalan? Sekalipun aku mahu atau tidak mahu?
Bagaimana caranya aku datang? Bagaimana aku dapat menempuh jalan?

Aku tidak tahu!
Akukah yang mengendalikan diriku dalam hidup ini...
....atau aku dikendalikan?
Aku ingin supaya aku tahu, tetapi....
....aku tidak tahu!

Barukah aku atau sudah usang?

Dalam dunia ini...
.... adakah aku bebas merdeka?

Atau seorang tawanan yang terbelenggu?

Jalanku! Apakah itu jalanku? Panjangkah atau pendek?
Adakah aku akan mendaki atau menurun atau terjerumus?
Akukah yang berjalan atau jalankah yang berjalan?
Atau kedua-duanya berhenti dan zaman yang mengalir cepat?

............

-Sumber : Mukmin Professional-